| Grief is a universal state of our being. Everyone on this planet is in some way grieving the inevitable losses in a fallen world. Whether through death, illness, broken relationships, tragedies and natural disasters or many other things, our collective grief is a cry heard around the globe. Also, most of you who read this newsletter are a part of our western culture which struggles to acknowledge our underlying pain, truly grief it and consequently sit with others in their pain. So, it is good in this space to recognize and normalize our grief in ways which help us to show up for ourselves and for others. Here are some messages from grief which will help us all understand it better, give us doorways to self-compassion and compassion for others, as well as provide paths to navigate what can be confusing: 1) We are never alone in our grief. As has been already said, grief is a universal reality. We are all somehow grieving loss, whether we acknowledge it or not. So many times we don’t because we fear (again, especially in the ‘I am fine’s’ of a western-minded world) somehow being a gloomy presence for others and pushing them away. It is important to fight the tendency to feel alone in grief, because as we invite ourselves into the journey of grief, we also provide opportunities for others to enter their own grief. This  recognition does require courage, but it is a courage we have been made to embody. 2) Pain can both thwart our joy and provide a way towards its fruit. While it is true that our pain will overshadow joy for seasons, our pain is not the end of the story. Our God, the Great Healer, also meets us in the openness of our pain to bring true, resilient hope in his overcoming light. This will lead to the birth of joy which surpasses understanding, every time. Though it may take a long and at times grueling process to obtain joy, it is the fruit of endurance in walking authentically our grief journeys. 3) Our grief is an invitation to true life. It is a lie to think that expressions of grief isolate us or make us someone we are not. No. The truth is our acknowledgement of grief is something which affirms both our humanity and our image-bearing of God. For we learn the heart of our Savior, both human and God. Jesus is described as a man or sorrows who knows grief. In accepting the invitation to walk in his way, we can open to grief and live a life which makes our Incarnate God real in this world. 4) Healing is the most persistent friend of all. Greater than the weight of grief is a God who is passionate about our healing. Acknowledging pain is not an indictment that now we must live in it. In my freshman year of college and my first counseling experience, I was able to articulate the truth that ‘openness to hurt is openness to healing.’ As I entered a commitment to authenticity, I saw many wounds inflicted by a broken world, healed in God’s relentless pursuit of me. I have never been disappointed in his hope-filled healing shining in the darkness he has given me the courage to face. Friend, it is my deep prayer that you do not lose heart amid your necessary and inevitable journey of grief. I am praying that these humble words have encouraged you, not only as pain presents itself to you, but also to offer your whole self to others in their own pain. Yours for the journey, Abigail photo credit |
