I walked the hill by my home in Budapest, as I did every day. These were the days which screamed in hideous ways ‘I am not good enough. I am a failure. I am a mess. I’ll never measure up.’ Their blows were seventy times seven. Unrelenting. I was so wearied by them.
Then it came.
I heard the soft, gentle voice of the Spirit. It poured over me to soothe my open sores.
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
    and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
    that her iniquity is pardoned,
that she has received from the Lord‘s hand
    double for all her sins.
Isaiah 40:1-2Â (emphasis mine)
These were the treasured words of God to me that day. They brought the King of Evil, in his all-out pursuit of me, to his knees. They dug up the ugly roots of dark untruth. They stilled every tremor of my soul, shaking from the onslaught.
They were tender words. They were God words.
Since that time, these verses will come to mind just as I am about to listen, again, to the lie. Instead I hear those gentle words, made just so, to fit inside of my heart. And I receive the truth that those lies have been a double thief, stealing both my inner and outer life. They have crippled me and beat me to a pulp. But God is saying ‘No more!’ He is speaking healing and grace and the sunshine of His Love.
I don’t know what your journey has been. Mine has been one of great heights and accolades for how ‘good’ I am. Those days feel like distant memories now. For I have lived in dark valleys these years of late. I never seem to quite measure up or so I ‘hear’. I can spin my mind in circles, and my heart right with it, trying to figure a way out of the mess. This does not, cannot, lead me Home.
But these words, spoken tenderly, from my God, do.
They say, ‘Beloved, I see you. I know the way has made you weary. I see how those lies are beating you up. But I want to comfort you; to speak something new. My tenderness is all yours for my heart is given to you. You have walked more than two lives. You have suffered things I never intended for you and I am sorry this is the world in which you live. Now is the time to lift your beautiful head. Your war is over! You have received double the punishment for your mistakes; your sins. Now is the time to know my tender love and comfort. Now is the time to stop the lying thief in his tracks. For you are all mine and I am healing you one breath at a time.’
Can you imagine the tender voice of God speaking over you? What He has done for me He wants to do for you. There is no tenderness like His. And haven’t we all been paid double for our sins? Because somewhere inside we are ripped up by what our choices have done to others or ourselves. Whether we speak or not, it is there. And on the outside, we lack the authenticity because there are dark secrets of all that is wrong in us. We are all the same in this tragic world–cut off from life, from Grace, from the healing of Jesus. We need this comfort when he opens His arms wide and beckons us: ‘Come. Hear. Be Changed’.
But, we have to believe His voice comes in the tender. We have to believe we are the people He wants to gather up into His arms. We have to hold onto the truth of His love and abandon all other mutations of it.
These verses still hold meaning and will until I am Home, face-to-face. Each time they come now, they come easier. It’s like God has given me a picture to stand alongside of the lies. The invitation is to have a big, beautiful meal with Him. It’s to feast on His love and believe it’s true. My war is over. It’s time for the tender embrace that will not let me go.
